Posted November 28, 2012 at 09:53 am
For starters, her full name is Grumpy Frumpy Lumpy Dumpy Rumpy, but we call her Rumpy for pulmonary health reasons. She's a rumpy Manx. For that reason, the name Rumpy is the most original thing ever.

Earlier Whomp! strips portrayed her as a type of villain, but that's mainly because she's really hard to understand. She also used to be pretty selfish, but she's recently been the least selfish of my four cats.

A Rumpy is an unsure beast. She doesn't know if you're gonna love her or chase her. I'm not sure why this is the case, as she's never been punished or yelled at, and her sister Needles is so unafraid of me, she'll crawl on me, kneading my jelly belly even while I'm growling loudly "I'm working, I'M WORKING."

Rumpy's also not really a rescue case, so she wasn't abused in a former life, either. We got her and Needles before they were weened and we bottle fed both of them. That's my guess as to why they're both fat, since they eat the same food as our healthy-weight . Rumpy is the much fatter of the sisters, and I'll get them both on a diet plan before too long. It's difficult with other cats in the home (especially one that's underweight), but I'm working on something.

Rumpy. Loves. Feet.

Holy heck does this kitty love the down-low-heel-to-toe. When she's not draping herself over your bare feet at the desk or when you're trying to cook something (inevitably tripping over her big butt)

She's very polite about eating. I feel like she does spend too much time at the bowl, but she never pushes away other cats to get at it. Typically the cats have a bowl of dry food for them to eat as their normal meals. On occasion, for a treat, they are given a treat of canned food to share. (It's unwise to only feed a cat canned food, for many health reasons.) Rumpy will wait patiently (more out of social anxiety than politeness I'm sure) for everyone to get their share before she goes in to clean the plates. She doesn't always get as much as they do, but she has her figure to worry about, too!

I've always worried that perhaps Rumpy has sight problems. As shown in today's comic, she likes to STARE. It can be unsettling, because you don't know what she wants. She'll just stare at you for a really long time, like you're about to give her candy. She also bats at every power cord she finds sprawled across the floor. She'll sit there and hit it several minutes, her own paw making it jump at her, causing her to leap back in fear. Do you think it's snakes, Rumpy??? HAVE YOU EVER EVEN SEEN A SNAKE YOU FATTY FAT?!

I asked a doctor, but he said her vision seemed fine, so I don't know. Maybe she is just kind of stupid. Maybe she's very smart. I'm not sure.

Recently, when Buddy and Needles were brought home from a veterinary checkup, the pet carrier (which had a towel in it) was left on the floor of the living room, open. A short time later I noticed Rumpy was lying in it. I doubt this was some secret "Take me to the vet" code and deciphered it more correctly as she wanted a place to hide and call her own while still being able to watch people. We've bought little cat homes before, but if you've ever had a cat, they are rarely interested in what you buy, unless it can be defined in some way as "cardboard box."

So I went into my home office, and under the TV next to my desk (which has a small very basic entertainment center), I cleared out the bottom-most shelf and placed a towel in it. Sure enough, Rumpy switched from the pet carrier to this shelf. I can now watch her pretty much all the time, and she lies there this very moment. She even stares at me less than she used to.

I sometimes worry that her weight makes her sad. Don't worry, Rumpy. We'll get healthy together. Just hang in there! (And quit hogging the Taco Bell, you dang cat.)
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