Posted June 11, 2012 at 03:01 am
by Reed Porter
(AMERICA, Peuters) - Devastating news strikes the planet today as world-famous, critically-acclaimed internet comic strip Whomp! takes a temporary leave of absence. The realization came to its hundreds of billions of readers when they flooded the website early Monday morning, only to find an ambiguous image of what looked to be three darkened characters in a movie theatre, watching a screen that reads "intermission". Fans have identified the characters as the main cast of the comic strip. From left to right, they are Li Ming "Agrias" Chiu, Ronnie Filyaw, and "Motivation" Dude.
We contacted the author of the net comic, and he agreed to meet us in our offices for an interview. When he arrived, he was carrying a bag of McDonald's-brand chicken nuggets he had likely purchased on the way here.
Interviewer: So, Ronnie, I understand y-
Ronnie: Would you like a McNugget?
Interviewer: Oh, yes. They smell delicious.
Ronnie: Oh, um...
Interviewer: What's wrong?
Ronnie: Sorry, there's really only enough for me. I thought for sure you'd say no thanks. (It was the 50-piece meal. - ed.)
Interviewer: That's quite alright. So, as I was saying, I understand your strip is taking a bit of a sabbatical?
(Ronnie is intently focused on nibbling the skin off of the McNugget before he consumes the rest of it.)
Ronnie: I guess you can say that.
Interviewer: Any particular reason?
Ronnie: It's more than just wanting to take a break, though that is a plus. Various reasons including real-life things, technical issues, and a re-examining of my art of writing are all factors.
(Ronnie peels open another barbeque sauce packet.)
Interviewer: When do you plan on continuing the strip?
Ronnie: I'm not sure yet. It depends on when circumstances allow it. I encourage everyone to check back every Monday/Wednesday/Friday to see when the strip returns.
(Ronnie looks intently at the five McNuggets in his hand. He glances at me, and I pretend to look away while I take a sip from my glass of water. Ronnie discretely shoves all five McNuggets in his mouth. I feign ignorance.)
Ronnie: Ifh fombpligabed, an bigh bwont boo fhabe ghoo-
Interviewer: Thank you very much for coming in and talking to me today.
After we said our farewells to each other, Ronnie moved to the building lobby where he finished his McNuggets, then just sat there for 2 hours staring straight ahead, slightly slumped over (occasionally, other people would sit in the chair facing his, and he would inadvertently be staring at them. The person would quickly become visibly uncomfortable and move to another seat. Eventually all of the seats in the lobby were full except for the one Ronnie was incidentally staring at.)
Finally, Ronnie went to leave the building, only to accidentally pull on a push-only door. He looked back, slightly teary eyed, as if looking to see if anyone noticed his foible. He then walked out the door, and out of sight.
(AMERICA, Peuters) - Devastating news strikes the planet today as world-famous, critically-acclaimed internet comic strip Whomp! takes a temporary leave of absence. The realization came to its hundreds of billions of readers when they flooded the website early Monday morning, only to find an ambiguous image of what looked to be three darkened characters in a movie theatre, watching a screen that reads "intermission". Fans have identified the characters as the main cast of the comic strip. From left to right, they are Li Ming "Agrias" Chiu, Ronnie Filyaw, and "Motivation" Dude.
We contacted the author of the net comic, and he agreed to meet us in our offices for an interview. When he arrived, he was carrying a bag of McDonald's-brand chicken nuggets he had likely purchased on the way here.
Interviewer: So, Ronnie, I understand y-
Ronnie: Would you like a McNugget?
Interviewer: Oh, yes. They smell delicious.
Ronnie: Oh, um...
Interviewer: What's wrong?
Ronnie: Sorry, there's really only enough for me. I thought for sure you'd say no thanks. (It was the 50-piece meal. - ed.)
Interviewer: That's quite alright. So, as I was saying, I understand your strip is taking a bit of a sabbatical?
(Ronnie is intently focused on nibbling the skin off of the McNugget before he consumes the rest of it.)
Ronnie: I guess you can say that.
Interviewer: Any particular reason?
Ronnie: It's more than just wanting to take a break, though that is a plus. Various reasons including real-life things, technical issues, and a re-examining of my art of writing are all factors.
(Ronnie peels open another barbeque sauce packet.)
Interviewer: When do you plan on continuing the strip?
Ronnie: I'm not sure yet. It depends on when circumstances allow it. I encourage everyone to check back every Monday/Wednesday/Friday to see when the strip returns.
(Ronnie looks intently at the five McNuggets in his hand. He glances at me, and I pretend to look away while I take a sip from my glass of water. Ronnie discretely shoves all five McNuggets in his mouth. I feign ignorance.)
Ronnie: Ifh fombpligabed, an bigh bwont boo fhabe ghoo-
Interviewer: Thank you very much for coming in and talking to me today.
After we said our farewells to each other, Ronnie moved to the building lobby where he finished his McNuggets, then just sat there for 2 hours staring straight ahead, slightly slumped over (occasionally, other people would sit in the chair facing his, and he would inadvertently be staring at them. The person would quickly become visibly uncomfortable and move to another seat. Eventually all of the seats in the lobby were full except for the one Ronnie was incidentally staring at.)
Finally, Ronnie went to leave the building, only to accidentally pull on a push-only door. He looked back, slightly teary eyed, as if looking to see if anyone noticed his foible. He then walked out the door, and out of sight.